Funny Definitions

Cigarette: 
A pinch of tobacco rolled in a paper with a fire at one end and a fool at the other

Compromise:  
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

Conference room: 
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees in the end

Dictionary: 
A place where divorce comes before marriage

Tears:  
The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power

Latest Quotes

Love Affairs:

Something like cricket where one day international is more popular than a five day test

Divorce:

Future tense marriage

Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either

Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

Modern Dictionary

University:

A place where couples meet

Classroom:

A place to sleep with open eyes

Examination:

A device which changes sweet dreams into nightmares

Library:

A silence zone to restore energy by glancing at colorful photo pages

Canteen:

A place to spend lavishly without money

Dean Office:

Where angels fear to tread

Discipline:

To turn yourself into a robot

Proctors:

Wolves in sheep’s clothing