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Showing posts with label School Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label School Jokes. Show all posts

Saturday, 15 September 2012

Neither-Nor


Teacher: Make a sentence using “neither-nor”.
naughty
Naughty boy: When girls wear tight fitting dresses neither they are comfortable nor we are.

Thursday, 13 September 2012

Date Sheet

exams

A date sheet is that sheet

Which makes the heart beat fast

It includes all the subjects

We have to prepare for the test

When students get it

Their hearts miss a beat

They lose all happiness

And can laugh no more

If one does not get through

He repeats the year

But don’t fret when you

Get this sheet

Remember where there’s a will

There is a way

Thursday, 30 August 2012

Mathematics

funny maths

The subject which makes you mad

Is known as Maths

To become a greatest fool

Learn equations and then rules

The matrices is Maths

Are really bad

Determinant and co-factors

To solve these first become a tractor

In the trigonometry sauce

There are only sine and cos

If you can’t become a PM

Then solve H.P.*, G.P.* and A.M*.

The fractions in the Maths

Are used to make you fat

To find the value of lxl

Better go to hospital of pets

If you can’t become a doctor so what

You can still do operations on sets

Lost in the world of numbers

To find rational, irrational and real numbers

Laws in Maths are so difficult to learn

So better become a lawyer and then earn

Suddenly I realized that

I am wasting time in writing all that

Because I have to learn Maths

Until I become mad




H.P.* = Harmonic progression

G.P.* = Geometric progression

A.M.* = Arithmetic mean

funny maths

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Amazing Brain

stupid student

Student: The brain is a wonderful thing.

Teacher: Why do you say that?

Student: Because it starts working the second you get up and never stops until you ask a question in class.
stupid student

Wednesday, 22 August 2012

Backbencher

backbencher

No matter what the teacher asks

I am always up to my task

As I am a backbencher

I am always on a venture

Teachers have come and gone

Lying on the back benches I always yawn

The last bench is the best place to sleep

But when exams come I always weep

On my sweet bench, come the sweetest dreams

But they soon end when the teacher screams

“Stand up and leave the class”, the teacher shouts

Making an end to all my sleepy bouts

Looking at all this, sometimes I try to deem

Sitting in front I shall become the nation’s cream

But after all I love this sorrowful trench

As I write this poem, sitting on the last bench

Thursday, 16 August 2012

Chemistry

chemistry
chemistry class
Chemistry oh! Chemistry!

You are even worse than history

Tomorrow is my paper

To me you are still a mystery

I look at you and cry

I wish I could die

For just a day tomorrow

And then again come by

Your questions are irritating

Your theory is predating

I wish I could hate you

But my teacher will kill me if I do so

My mother says it’ll be okay

But she doesn’t know you

And how you turn people mad

This thought really makes me sad

chemistry jokes


dangerous chemistry
boring chemistry 

Monday, 13 August 2012

Low or High Grades

report card
Mother: Jack, I don’t understand why do you get so low grades in all the subjects?

Jack: Oh! Mom, you must be proud, they are highest among the failures.

Saturday, 11 August 2012

Students VS Teachers

students vs teachers



When we are in class we are “Students”

When they are in class they are “Scholars”

When we write on our writing it is “Over writing”

When they do over writing it is “Correction”

When we gather to discuss we are “Gossiping”

When they gather to discuss they are “Meeting”

When we stand outside the class we are “Punished”

When they stand outside the class they are “Contemplating”

When we do something wrong we are “Idiots”

When they do something wrong they are “Mortal Beings”

When we think in the class we are “Day Dreamers”

When they think in the class they are “Philosophers”



students vs teachers