Funny Qutations

If it is true we are here to help others,

Then, what exactly are the others here for?



Since light travels faster than sound,

People appear brighter until you hear them speak.



Every man should marry,

After all, happiness should be shared.



The wise never marry,

And when they marry they become otherwise.



There should be a better way to start a day,

Than waking up early in the morning.

Latest Quotes

Love Affairs:

Something like cricket where one day international is more popular than a five day test

Divorce:

Future tense marriage

Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either

Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

Quotes That Fit Us Perfect

If you are too open minded, your brain will fall out.

Age is very high price to pay for maturity.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

My idea of house work is to sweep the room with a glance.

It is easier to get forgiveness from parents than permission.

Junk is something you have kept for years and throw away two days before you need it.

Your future depends on your dreams, so go to sleep.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the risk.

Funny Advantages of Smoking

A smoker can never become old. (He dies young)

The thieves can’t steel anything from a smoker’s house. (He sneezes and coughs all the night)

Robbery cannot occur in smoker’s house. (He has already sold everything)

The standard of living becomes high. (He is an addict and called JAHAZ (aeroplane) in Urdu)

The smoker is usually silent by nature. (He has cigarette in his mouth)

The smoker can never feel exhausted. (He lies in bed all the time)

Modern Dictionary

University:

A place where couples meet

Classroom:

A place to sleep with open eyes

Examination:

A device which changes sweet dreams into nightmares

Library:

A silence zone to restore energy by glancing at colorful photo pages

Canteen:

A place to spend lavishly without money

Dean Office:

Where angels fear to tread

Discipline:

To turn yourself into a robot

Proctors:

Wolves in sheep’s clothing

Tits Bits

If a barber makes a mistake, it is a new style

If a driver makes a mistake, it is an accident

If a doctor makes a mistake, it is an operation

If an engineer makes a mistake, it is a new venture

If a politician makes a mistake, it is a new law

If a scientist makes a mistake, it is a new invention

If a tailor makes a mistake, it is a new fashion

If a teacher makes a mistake, it is a new method

If your boss makes a mistake, it is your mistake